Human psychology works in strange ways. We love to possess things that are rare to find. Such things will be more valuable to us. In the same way, if you want to increase your value, use the power of absence.
In his book The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene talks about how you should use absence to increase respect and honor (Law no. 16). He says that you need to be less accessible for other people to find you more valuable. However, you must first show your worth and know when to walk away.
The basic economic theory works in the same way. For example, the supply of a product is high, its price (or value) will decrease. Why? Because the product is readily available in the market. Conversely, if the product is rare and has a high demand, its value will increase.
First, you need to possess a valuable skill and be capable of doing something rare—something that only you can do. Do it long enough so that other people can see and acknowledge your work. Then, walk away. If you do so, your demand will increase. People will want to meet you, work with you, or have a chat with you.
It works the same in romantic relationships. Whenever you chase a person, and you want them to be your partner, it is most likely that that person will not want to be with you. It is because you are readily available to them. So, for example, if you constantly call or text them, your value will be less. Instead, if you become less accessible and less predictable, they will see you as something worth having.
Today, almost everyone is on social media. You post pictures and stories so that everyone can see them. You are constantly showing up online. By doing so, people believe that you are readily available. And, subconsciously, your value will be less. Don’t post everything on social media, and don’t reply to every DM you receive. It is okay to do it once in a while. People will be glad to see you if you do it less often. But, if you are always online, then nothing is new.
Becoming less accessible does not mean that you are rude to people. Instead, it means that you are doing things that are more important to you.
To have that quality, you must first show your existence. The art of getting away will not work if you have not shown your worth first. So, be careful about being absent or less accessible very soon. You must know the correct time to do it.
So, the next time you want to attract someone, have an influence over them, or display your value, show up first and then walk away. Be less available. Do not be present all the time. Instead, create mystery. Be unpredictable and hard to find. If you do that, you will increase your value.
“How can they miss you if you never go away?”